Today was bittersweet. 99% bitter & 1% sweet.

I thought I was going to cry today. Surprisingly I didn’t. But I did think I was going to puke or get dizzy. Yay anxiety. It overtook my depression. Thank God for Valium and booze (do not mix these two. Unless you’re me. I’m only taking responsibility for me. Not for you).

I thought I should be responsible today. Surprisingly I was. Other people not so much.

Surprisingly I spent money for makeup I’ll never use. I never do that. I’m what Mom calls a tightwad. So I guess I was not completely responsible. Surprise.

Anyway I stopped wearing makeup regularly after my last job. But I bought some. Because new start and all but come on I know me. I’d rather sleep. Sleep is hard to come by for me. Especially in this bed. I want my old bed back. I’m glad I brought my pillow. It’s the one soft thing here.

But I’m alive. Never underestimate the importance of that. And hopefully things will work this time.




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