I grew up with both of my parents bad eating habits. My mom worries about her weight constantly (still-to this day. Aneorexia is an ongoing battle with her) and my dad likes to eat.
So I grew up worried about my weight constantly, wanting to fit into an ideal I actually already fit into though my mind didn’t know that. And yet loving to eat.
For awhile there wasn’t a problem. For awhile I could eat what I wanted and just stop eating when I wanted to lose weight “right quick”. Then age hit and with it came a slowing metabolism.
Then I eventually just…started losing. I changed my eating habits-not to the point that I am a health nut just enough because who I loved had a more healthy eating habit and I’ll mirror certain parts of someone I love. I heard that’s normal. If it’s not I don’t have time to deal with it. I have enough issues.
Anyway eating healthier and being more active…oh yeah…meant losing weight. And when I lost weight I lost quickly. And then it kept going and going and soon I was the thinnest I’d ever been in my life. Without even trying.
Then even after gaining some of it back during a depressed state I soon lost it when I got sick.
People would compliment me because they noticed the weight loss not knowing I had been through hell and back and I would say “Thanks. I don’t recommend it.” Because going through hell and back is not the diet of choice.
I fought long and hard to stay here.
I am my mother’s child.
Once again I’ve lost a lot of weight. People have noticed.
Thanks. I don’t recommend it.
I think my body is healthy. But I am my mothers child. And all of a sudden there are times I’m just not hungry.
Not all the time. I’ll tear a burrito up. And pasta I love pasta. But we don’t eat those things often.
So normal food. Eh.
I’m not that hungry. I am my mother’s child.
Work has become hell. My love is going through so much of his own shit and I feel I can’t help him and I hate it.
So I’m just not that hungry.
I don’t recommend it.
I’d rather be happy and have the people I love happy and have a normal appetite.
But I am my mother’s child. And my father’s. And the love of my sweetheart. And we all are fighters through hell and back.
It’s what we do.
So thanks for noticing but I wouldn’t recommend it.
Hopefully my appetite will return soon.
To a point.
Because I am my mother’s child. The tendencies are there. I have to be on guard.
But thanks for noticing.